The man behind the curtain

A segment from the Sunday morning talk shows involving Arianna Huffington and Roger Ailes:

AILES: FOX News is fair and balanced. We had Geraldine Ferraro on for 10 years as the only woman the Democrats ever nominated. Now we have the only woman that the Republicans nominated. I'm not in politics, I'm in ratings. We're winning.


HUFFINGTON: Roger, you clearly are in ratings, but if you are in ratings, can you explain to me why FOX went away from the meeting the president was having in -- why did you go away, 20 minutes before the end?

AILES: Because we're the most trusted name in news.

This helps to understand why Republicans do their best thinking when expressed in the form of slogans: it is because the man behind the 24/7 Republican propaganda machine, himself, can only think in slogans.

UPDATE: Ahem...

My Personal Curse

What it is, jive turkey!!! I've got a problem. Actually, I have 3 problems:

First of all, I've been cursed with incredible good looks.

Second of all, I spend too much time on fantasy sports.

And third, I can't seem to buy a friggin championship in said fantasy sports.

Early playoff exits are my thing. I've managed to win one football championship a few years ago, and I believe I took another in hockey two years ago. My recent past, however, leaves something to be desired. If I recall correctly, my most recent performances go a little something like this:

Hockey

2006-Finished 9 out of 10, most likely because of the incredibly gay team name of "Hockey Town Hussies"
2007-Team name change to "Le Chuck" results in CHAMPIONSHIP!!! Suck it!
2008-Trip to Colombia and not setting line up results in 2nd place out of 12.
2009-Not finished but currently climbing the charts.

Football

2006-"Sexy Time Explosion" isn't so sexy at all and finishes 8 out of 8
2007-"Hot Beef Injection" gets the silver
2008-"Mandalorian Merc's" finishes with the 1st seed and then is immediately eliminated in the 1st round. End result: 7th out of 16
2009-"SherrifGonnaGetcha" again finishes with the 1st seed. I roll my way in to the semi's where I eliminated. End result: 3rd out of 12

Baseball

2006-My fightin' "Underpants Gnomes" can only manage an 8th place finish out of 10th.
2007-"Tater Chips" is a little better, getting 5th out of 12.
2008-"Logjammin" scores the 2nd seed. After the 1st round bye I immediately lose in the playoffs. End result: 3rd out of 14.
2009-"Logjammin" finishes with the 1st seed with perhaps the best roster ever in the history of fantasy baseball where I then again LOSE IN THE GOD DAMN SEMI'S!!! End result: Fucking 3rd.

So my average finish is:
2006-8th
2007-3rd
2008-4th (Despite 1st and 2nd place finish)
2009-3rd (Despite 2 first place finishes)

So what the hell is this shit??? What is the issue? I have no fucking idea. All I know is that is getting really friggin annoying to have my team eliminated in the playoffs by the dude who autodrafts and checks his team twice a month.

Across the last 4 fantasy seasons I have finished either 1st or 2nd in the regular season and I have nothing to show for it.

Am I cursed? Am I destined to never get a hold of the gold in the two sports with money on the line (hockey doesn't pay)? If not it is certainly not for lack of trying.

Football I can certainly understand because it's a complete crapshoot. You never know who's going to get TDs. It's the most popular fantasy sport because it is, undoubtedly, the easiest to play. However, I'm obviously doing something right if I've managed to finish 1st two years in a row.

It's baseball that really bothers me. Baseball is the nerdy extra complicated cousin to Football. Baseball guys love stats. I love stats. I have designed, and am always making improvements on, my own personal excel spreadsheet designed to properly rank and tier almost 500 players which I check almost every single damn day. Excessive? You bet your ass. Do I love indulging in to that deep level of nerdery. Absolutely.

It makes me wonder what the hell it is for when I have nothing to show for it, however. I keep telling myself, "Fuck it. Next year I'm going autodraft", but I never do.

So, I'm all prepped for the 2010 baseball season. And while just about everyone else in the league will, at best, by a magazine the day before the draft and wing it, I'm going to be the numbnuts still debating at the last second if Felix Pie belongs in the same tier as Jason Heyward, despite the fact that neither may even get a single at-bat this year.

Whatever, fuck everyone else. This year I'm going to win. If not, well, just like following the Redskins, the failure gets a little easier each time.

Alive... in the Superunknown!!!

Holy shit! If the Alice in Chains "reunion" had me amped then the recent rumors of an impending Soundgarden reunion have me doubly super stoked. Just the mere thought of Chris Cornell howling over some sick Kim Thayil riffs give me a boner that CAN NOT BE CONTAINED!!!

I am unapologetically a fanboy of the 90s grunge scene to which all other music fails in comparison. That's my M.O., that's how I get down, that's how I roll. Despite the fact that FM radio seems to play "Outshined" once per hour, I never change the channel. Never.

As much as Nirvana got credit for busting the door open on grunge or alternative rock or whatever you want to call it, as much as Pearl Jam gets the trophy for staying power, Soundgarden had the biggest sound, the heaviest riffs, and the biggest cajones of the scene. Even when they were bad, they were good. Some of their 80s stuff was cheesy as fuck.

Case in point...



Nice, right?

I'm a little curious as to how they are going to rectify their drummer situation, as Cameron has since joined PJ Supreme. What's that? you want a whole video of Matt C drumming to "Evenflow"? Here you go:



So who knows how that will shake out. Early indications are that Cameron will be touring with the reunion, but we'll have to see where it goes from there.

So, in lieu of blathering more about my love of Soundgarden, I'll just post a few more youtube clips.

Shake and Bake!

I got a message for you!



Good musics is few and far between these days. But I was able to salvage a few tunes out of the late 2009 that caught my ear. So, without further ado, here lies some sort of top 10-ish type list:

10-Them Crooked Vultures-Elephants



9-The Shock of the Lightning-Oasis



8-Never Ending Summer-311



7-All Secrets Known-Alice in Chains



6-Jars-Chevelle



5-Uprising-Muse



4-Let It Die-Foo Fighters



3-Wolfmother-Sundial



2-Kings and Queens-30 Seconds to Mars



1-Amongst the Waves-Pearl Jam

"The only cosmonaAAUUUTTTT"

Happy New Year, fuckers!!!

Merry Christmas and all that other happy horseshit, too. This newest of blog posts comes inspired by the crunchiness of one, Andrew Stockdale and his band of interchangeable parts.



Yeeaaahhh!!!

I wasn't overly impressed with the first Wolfmother album and it took a delayed liking of "Woman" to gain my interest. That, "Colossal", and "Love Train" are the only songs I can actually remember. At that point the band slowly crept away from my mind and was soon forgotten amongst a horde of bands that have come and gone (Full Devil Jacket, Audiovent, Big Wreck, etc.).

It was by pure bored curiosity that I looked in to their latest, Cosmic Egg, and shit did I have a good time with it. Sure, it may have had something to do with enjoying a fine selection of Sam Adams finest, but the rockin that occurred that evening was fan-tastic.

The reviews that I found for the album are a mixed bag, and the kiss of death known as good-review-by-Rolling-Stone is also present, but my own mind has been made up in the matter.

Again I have to vent on the pretentious world of music reviewer. Who do these people think they are? I read in not one but two reviews that Wolfmother would be better served to be more like The White Stripes. Why? Is it that awful for a band to do their own thing? The similarities between Wolfmother and Led Zeppelin, Jet, and the Stripes are bound to occur if only that they are rock bands with a singer who can reach some of those nut clenching higher registers, but it doesn't mean that one must go out of their fucking way to make that comparison every other fucking paragraph. "Er... blah blah blah look at me the music snob. This music is reminiscent of such bands as blah blah blah because I like them better and know more shit than you." Suck a dick. And I can't stop asking, what is so special about the fucking White Stripes? In fact, excuse me for a moment while I ask that very question on facebook.

Anywho, the riffs on this album are sick. None of the mindless noodling that drives me nuts in most guitar virtuosos, just crunchy fast, epic riffage. Sign me up on that shit. The new rhythm section is tight and hard.

Bands like this always get my attention if they churn out a product I like. At heart I love singers like Eddie Vedder or Scott Weilland (from the Core days, before the drug use tore up his lungs). I like the singing lower. Whiny voices make me want to choke people. So when groups like Wolfmother, Jane's Addiction, and Smashing Pumpkins get my attention, it's an especially big deal for me.

So for those of you keeping score, Peter Steele: Yes



Brendan Brown: No



Just sayin'

Now this post has taken entirely too long, and it's year end time and my ass is swamped with TPS reports. Later hosers.